Asleep Page 3

The only thing Wasso saw was David being thrown over the hood of the car. He dimly heard sirens and voices and knew a crowd was forming but all he saw was David landing in a heap in the middle of the road. He knew the EMTs had arrived when they pushed him away from David and he knew they were working to save David’s life. Wasso knew he was answering their questions but all he saw was David flying in the air and all he heard was the thud as David slammed into the ground.

Somehow, Wasso realized, he was at a hospital. He wasn’t sure when they’d gotten there. If Wasso tried, he could remember a rush of lights, sirens, and people working on David while he was on a stretcher. How long had Wasso been sitting in this room? Why hadn’t someone come to tell him if David was okay? Was David okay? Had David’s parents been called? Did Mark know what happened?

Reaching into his pocket for his cell phone, Wasso’s hand brushed up against the concert tickets. Forgetting about his phone, Wasso pulled out the tickets and stared at them. Wasso was supposed to be at the concert right now with David who should be so excited and surprised to find out it was Keane playing. Wasso had had such great plans for tonight: a great dinner at Frankie’s followed by a surprise Keane concert for David. It was supposed to be a beautiful night for the two of them, how had it turned into this nightmare?

Wasso leaned his head in his hands and didn’t notice the tears as they started to flow.

***

Mark and Linder walked into the hospital room. Wasso was sitting on a chair beside the bed and holding an unconscious David’s limp hand in his own.

“Wasso,” Mark said gently, “Wasso, when did you last eat? Why don’t you come with me? We’ll go down to the cafeteria and Linder will sit with David.”

Wasso turned and looked at Mark blankly, “Huh? Oh, hi Mark. Linder. What did you say Mark?”

Mark was very worried about Wasso. Wasso hadn’t left David’s side since the doctors had allowed him into David’s room. It had been two days, David still hadn’t woken up and Mark wasn’t sure if Wasso had slept. Mark had been stopped by a nurse on the way to David’s room because the nurse was afraid that Wasso hadn’t eaten since David had been brought in. The doctors and nurses had left Wasso food and had tried to talk Wasso into a cot at night but Wasso refused everything. Mark knew he had to get Wasso out of the room even for a moment so that he could try and get Wasso to eat or sleep.

“Wasso let Linder sit with David a bit. We’ll go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. If David wakes up, Linder will come get us. Okay?” Mark said approaching Wasso and laying a hand on his shoulder.

Reaching over, Mark gently removed David’s hand from Wasso’s grip. “Come on Wasso. You need to eat. David will be really angry if he wakes up and you’re sick because you haven’t eaten.”

“Umm, but I can’t leave him. He thought I wanted him to go without me. He thought…he thought…I can’t leave him alone…” Wasso protested as Mark got him standing up and started to lead him from the room.

“Don’t worry Wasso. If David wakes up, Linder will tell him you’re here.” Mark said tugging on Wasso’s hand to get Wasso to start walking again from where he had stopped to look at David, “Come on. See, Linder’s already holding David’s hand, David won’t be alone. I promise we’ll be back soon.”

Wasso looked at Mark long enough to realize what he was saying. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Pulling his hand from Mark’s, Wasso walked back to David’s bedside. Leaning down to kiss David on the cheek, Wasso said, “Hey kid. I’ll be right back. I promise. I’m gonna let you have some time hanging out with Linder. I love you. I’ll be right back.”

Straightening up, Wasso closed his eyes for a second not seeing the worried looks Mark and Linder exchanged. Opening his eyes, Wasso walked back to Mark and allowed Mark to lead him away from David’s side for the first time since the accident.

***

“I talked to David’s mom earlier,” Mark said when he and Wasso were sitting down on a bench outside with trays of food. “David’s parents will be coming around three today. We should give them some time with David. Why don’t Linder and I take you back to my place? We can get you a shower and you can sleep for a bit.”

“No.” Wasso said as he stared at the food in front of him, “No, I won’t leave him here alone.”

“Wasso, David’s parents need time with him alone. I know you don’t want to leave him in the hospital but you have to give David’s parents a chance to spend time with him. Just come to my place for a little while instead of pacing the waiting room. Both Linder and I have our cell phones and the Shine’s know our numbers. My place is only ten minutes away from the hospital. If anything happens…if David wakes up” Mark amended seeing the look on Wasso’s face, “If David wakes up you’ll be back here before the doctors let him see who’s around. He’ll never know you left.”

“I…I don’t know…” Wasso muttered absently, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite.

“Look Wasso.” Mark said a bit harsher, “I didn’t want to say this to you. I didn’t want to because I understand why you feel you can’t leave David. But I’m going to say it because you need to know. You have to come with Linder and me. I’m not giving you a choice. I have one friend lying in a hospital bed and I will not have another. You are wearing yourself out. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. You are not helping David by making yourself sick.”

Seeing that Wasso was finally paying attention to something being said, Mark continued a bit more softly, “I know why you don’t want to leave his side. If that was Linder lying there, you know I wouldn’t want to leave. But you know - I know you know - that if it was Linder there, you would be doing the same thing I’m doing right now. We’ve been friends for a long time Wasso, and I love you too much to watch you do this to yourself. Look at me. Look me in the eyes so you can see that I believe this one hundred percent. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that David’s lying upstairs in a bed. Nothing you said or did caused this. It’s not your fault Wasso.”

Mark wrapped his arms around Wasso and let Wasso cling to him as Wasso started to cry.

“It is my fault,” Wasso sobbed, “It is. I was telling him he had to leave. I told him there was nothing here for him. It’s my fault because I didn’t tell him that I didn’t mean me. He thought I meant me, he thought I meant I wasn’t here for him. He didn’t know that I wasn’t going to let him leave alone. He didn’t know that I was going with him. How didn’t he know? How could he not know how much I loved him?”

Mark held Wasso as he cried. Mark was relieved that Wasso was finally showing some emotion but was also very worried because Wasso had lost complete control, something Wasso never did. Mark was glad he had chosen this spot, away from everyone else. Mark wasn’t sure what would’ve happened if Wasso had broken down in front of other people. Mark murmured calming words as Wasso sobbed out all of his grief, anger and self-blame. Mark just hoped that once Wasso stopped crying, Wasso would start to listen and start to believe what everyone else already knew. It wasn’t Wasso’s fault that David was in a coma; the fault lay with the idiot driver who drove through a red light.

Abruptly Wasso stopped crying and broke out of Mark’s embrace. Wasso stared at Mark for a moment. Mark knew better than to say anything about the crying jag. Mark distracted Wasso from his breakdown by pointing out the birds hopping towards their lunches. “Hey, we better finish our sandwiches. The birds are going to get them otherwise.”

“Okay.” Wasso said too mildly for Mark’s comfort and picked up his sandwich.

Now that Wasso had broken down and cried out his emotions, Wasso felt empty and tired. Wasso knew that Mark was worried and that Mark was right about him needing to eat and sleep. Wasso couldn’t bring himself to admit that he could leave David for a couple hours and everything would be ok. Wasso kept getting frightened at the thought of leaving David’s side because the thought that David would wake up and think that Wasso had left him for good kept bouncing around Wasso’s mind. In the back of his mind, Wasso knew the thought was unrealistic just like he knew that the accident wasn’t his fault, but Wasso couldn’t face it just yet. Admitting that David would be fine if he left, or that the accident wasn’t his fault, was like admitting the fact that David may not wake up – something Wasso couldn’t face.

Suddenly extremely tired, Wasso finished his lunch and then walked back to David’s room with Mark. Linder was still by David’s side holding David’s hand and talking quietly to David. Linder looked up when Wasso and Mark entered the room but didn’t get up from his seat or let go of David’s hand. Mark walked up to Linder and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Mark pulled up a second chair beside Linder and leaned over to put a hand on David’s shoulder. Wasso looked at Linder and Mark for a moment then went to the other side of David’s bed and curled up on the small couch sitting in the corner of the room.

Without meaning to, Wasso fell asleep listening to the soft murmur of Mark and Linder talking to each other and to David.

***

In his dream, Wasso was on his bed with David beside him. He turned and pulled David into his arms. David came into his arms willing and they shared a deep, intimate kiss. Breaking the kiss, Wasso murmured “I love you”

“I know.” David snuggled up closer to Wasso and rested his head on Wasso’s chest.

“Do you know David? Do you really?” questioned Wasso quietly, “There are times I think you don’t realize just what that means to me. There are times I think you don’t realize that you’re it for me; that there’s no one and nothing out there but you. That my life is yours now.”

David lifted his head off Wasso’s chest and leaning on an arm, David bent over so he could look Wasso in the eyes. “I do know that Wasso. Just like I know that you’re it for me too. That my life is as much yours as yours is mine. Since the first moment you told me you loved me, I’ve never doubted it.”

In his sleep, Wasso murmured softly to himself and shifted restlessly on the couch. In his dream he sat up and pulled David until he was sitting up as well. “Then why David? Why did you run away from me? Why didn’t you stop when I asked you to? Why’d you turn away from me? I was calling you. I was trying to tell you that you misunderstood me, why did you run?”

“I’m sorry Wasso. I am. I was scared that I was losing you. Losing you would destroy me. I thought you were telling me that I didn’t have a future with you. I’m sorry.”

“You took that step off the curb David and you were nearly killed. You nearly killed me in that instant too.”

Taking Wasso’s face in his hands, David looked deeply into Wasso’s eyes. “I wish I could go back and change that, but I can’t. You just have to trust me when I say I’m sorry and when I promise that if you wait, I’ll come back to you. There will be times when I’ll run away from you, there will be times when you’ll run away from me, but we’ll always come back to each other. I’m sorry I got scared. I’m sorry I took that step. Wait for me Wasso, I’m finding my way back – that I can promise you.”

As David gently kissed him in his dream, Wasso woke up still feeling David’s body against him and David’s lips on his. For a moment, Wasso truly believed that David was there kissing him awake.

***

Stretching out of his sleep, Wasso noticed that instead of Mark and Linder by David’s side, David’s parents were there. If what Mark had said was true and the Shine’s hadn’t come until three, Wasso had been asleep for a few hours.

Mrs. Shine noticed that Wasso was awake and smiled over David’s bed at him.

“Brendan. I hope we didn’t wake you.”

“No, Mrs. S. You didn’t wake me. I hadn’t realized I fell asleep. Hi Mr. S.” Wasso said as he walked over to David’s parents’ side.

“Wasso,” Replied Mr. Shine, “I have to admit I was glad to see you sleeping. Mark told me he was able to get you to eat a little as well. That makes both of us feel better; we were almost as worried about you as we are about David.”

Mrs. Shine briefly touched Mr. Shine’s cheek then reached over to take a hold of Wasso’s hand. “Mark said he’s already given you the lecture so I won’t repeat it but please, we need you to take care of yourself. It’s hard to come in here and see David like this, but it’s impossible to come in see David in this bed and see you as you were the last couple of days.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. It’s just….just…” stammered Wasso not realizing he had reached down and laid the hand holding onto Mrs. Shine’s hand on her shoulder.

“We know dear, we know.” Mrs. Shine interrupted ignoring the tears welling in Wasso’s eyes as well as her own. “Mark and Linder are in the waiting room at the end of the hallway. Why don’t you go join them and maybe head outside for a bit? We’ve got all of your phone numbers and we’ll call if anything changes. Go show Mark and Linder that they don’t have to worry about you. They worry enough about David. I don’t think I ever realized how much David and you meant to Mark and Linder. The two of them have been here for hours every day. It’s a shame this is what made me realize how close all you boys are.”

“They mean a lot to me and David too. I’ll go and be with them for a bit.” Wasso agreed.

Wasso let go of Mrs. Shine’s hand and leaned over the bed to give David a kiss. “I’ll be back soon kid. I’ll leave you with your parents. I’m sure they have a thing or two to say to you. I love you David.”

Wasso stopped at the door as he walked out. He looked back at David and his parents. Mrs. Shine was wiping tears from her cheeks and Mr. Shine was leaning over talking to David. Feeling like he was leaving his heart behind, Wasso left the room to find Mark and Linder.

***

Two weeks later, David was still asleep. Wasso stayed by David’s side as much as possible but went out every day with Mark to eat, shower and get clean clothes. He refused to leave David alone at night and, ignoring the cot provided by the hospital staff, had taken to crawling into bed beside David and holding him through the night as he slept.

Each day that passed without David waking up left Wasso feeling emptier. The worry lines burrowed deeper on the faces of David’s parents. Mark and Linder were showing the stress of it as well. The talk around David’s bed had digressed until everyone just sat around avoiding each others eyes.

It was Linder who finally broke the heaviness that had settled over David’s room. He showed up one day with a backpack. Linder pulled an Ipod and a stereo from the backpack in front of Wasso who looked on with an empty gaze. Linder set the stereo on the little table beside David’s bed and plugged in the Ipod. Music quietly filtered through the room as Linder pulled other items out of his backpack. Linder placed a stuffed bear that Mark had won at a fair for David on the bed beside David’s head and placed a picture of the four friends on the table beside the stereo facing the bed so that if David were to turn his head, it would be the first thing he saw. The last thing Linder pulled out of his bag was a thick book. He handed the book over to Wasso who took it without saying anything.

Opening the book, Wasso looked at the front page and couldn’t help but laugh. The book was a scrap book of the last couple years. The very first page was a newspaper cut out describing how the figurines in the park by the high school had been rearranged into scenes the newspaper described as “lewd caricatures of Shakespearian plays.” It was a prank that David and Mark had thought up two summers ago.

Still smiling and no longer looking out of empty eyes, Wasso glanced at Linder.

“I thought David would like to remember some of the stupid times we’ve had together.” Linder said quietly, “The music on the Ipod is a mixture from all of our computers, but mostly David’s favourites. Mr. and Mrs. Shine added a couple songs that they said David would remember from his childhood.”

Linder had a tendency of hiding in the background or behind Mark and Wasso had forgotten that it was usually Linder who came up with the best ideas for the group even though they were often filtered through Mark.

“Thanks Linder.” Wasso said, “Thank you.”

Linder blushed and mumbled something resembling a ‘you’re welcome’. Without looking at Wasso again, Linder pulled up a chair next to the bed. Still blushing and avoiding Wasso’s gaze, Linder started talking to David, telling him a story about how some guy had been trying to push Linder around on the bus but, unfortunately for the guy, Nick and Mark had been on the bus with Linder.

Wasso smiled as Linder described how Nick had come onto the guy who, trying to avoid Nick, had back up so far that he ended up falling into the lap of some big trucker looking dude.

Settling into his chair more comfortably, Wasso kept up the talk with Linder as they swapped stories about the times that Mark, Nick or Wasso had interrupted others from beating up Mark and picking on Linder. Soon, the two boys were laughing at the uniquely embarrassing punishments Nick and Mark tried to come up with.

When Mark showed up at a couple hours later, he noticed a distinct change in everyone gathered around David. Instead of feeling like they were waiting for the worst to happen, it felt like David would wake up any moment. It no longer seemed painful but instead hopeful.

***

The first thing David noticed was the music. He heard the Beatles singing about turning to Mother Mary for comfort. He’d heard the song almost every night when he was growing up. It was one of his mother’s favourites and she would often sing it to David at bedtime.

The next thing David noticed was a weight across his chest. He tried to figure out what it was but couldn’t place it until he noticed the soft, steady rhythm of someone sleeping in the room. David realized that the weight of Wasso’s arm that Wasso had thrown around David in his sleep. Without opening his eyes, David took comfort in the feel of Wasso’s arm around him. David felt relief knowing that Wasso was beside him. David couldn’t figure it out but he had a feeling that, for one reason or another, he expected Wasso to be gone. Even though David tried to go back to sleep, the thought niggled at him. Why did he think Wasso had left him? Why was he so relieved to find Wasso there? In fact, where was he? The noises around him didn’t sound right. Instead of the usual nighttime noises of his house, the quiet clicks and whirrs of the appliances, that he was used to there were quiet but unfamiliar beeps and clicks. There was also an unfamiliar, almost antiseptic, smell to the air.

Puzzled, David opened his eyes. The ceiling was unfamiliar. He wasn’t in his or Wasso’s bedroom or any other room in his house. He wasn’t at Mark’s nor was he at Linder’s. Turning his head slightly, he saw Wasso sleeping quietly beside him. Turning his head the other way he saw an unfamiliar table beside the bed that held a picture of Linder, Mark, Wasso and himself in front of Mark’s house. The picture had been taken a few months ago at a party. The picture normally sat on a shelf in Mark’s room but David already knew he wasn’t in Mark’s room. Where was he?

David shifted a bit to ease the pressure that Wasso’s arm had put on his stomach. As he shifted, David realized he had something attached to the arm that wasn’t pinned under Wasso. Lifting the arm, David grew even more puzzled as he saw an IV running into his arm. It clicked in David’s mind that he was in a hospital. Why was he in a hospital? From the IV, it was obviously David who needed the hospital and not Wasso. David tried to think back to the last thing he remembered. He remembered eating dinner at Frankie’s with Wasso. He remembered that they had gone for a walk after dinner but why they were walking and where they were going was fuzzy. David couldn’t remember anything after that.

David heard Wasso stirring at his side and knew that Wasso would be waking up any minute. David hoped that Wasso could explain things. David turned his head and watched Wasso’s eyes flutter open. Still mostly asleep, Wasso smiled at David and leaned over to give him a kiss.

“Morning love,” Wasso muttered sleepily, “How’d you sleep?”

“Wasso, where are we?” David asked.

“We’re at the hospital. There was an accident, you’ve been asleep. You’ve been….” Wasso suddenly stared wide-eyed at David. “David. You’re awake. David. Oh my god...David, you’re awake.”

Wasso sat up and gathered David into a bone crushing hug. “Holy shit kid, you’re awake. Oh god David. David. Oh god, you’re awake. Oh god…”

David was even more confused as he realized that Wasso had started to cry. Pulling out of Wasso’s embrace, David looked at Wasso. He noticed that Wasso had dark bags under his eyes and looked like he had lost weight. Wasso continued to cling to David and seemed unable to stop crying.

“Wasso?” asked David, “Wasso what’s going on? Hey…hey. Stop crying Wasso. Wasso? Please. Stop crying. You got to tell me what’s going on? Why am I in a hospital? What happened?”

Wasso took a deep breath and pulled himself together as much as he could. He knew that he had to get it together because there were things to explain to David. But first, Wasso had to get David to let the questions rest for a bit so Wasso could get a doctor and call David’s parents, and Mark, and Linder…

Suddenly smiling, Wasso pulled David into a hug again. This hug was gentler than the first one and Wasso knew he’d have a hard time letting go of David long enough to find the doctor.

“Oh god David, I was so scared. I didn’t know what I was going to do. But…but… you’re awake. Oh man, you’re parents are going to be so happy. So are Mark and Linder. We’ve got to call them. What time is it?” Wasso babbled as he grinned at David and hopped out of the bed. “Shit, who cares. We’ve got to call them.”

“Wasso...Wasso, look at me.” David said trying to get Wasso’s full attention, “Wasso. Why am I here?”

Wasso looked at David’s face and stilled. Wasso realized that David wouldn’t wait for answers. David was getting freaked out. Gently leaning over to kiss David, Wasso ran over David’s head smoothing his hair.

“There was an accident David. Do you remember anything?” Wasso asked gently.

“No. All I remember was going out to dinner with you. Everything after that is a blank wall.” David said getting upset and struggling to sit up, “What happened Wasso? Why can’t I remember?”

“Shhh, kid. It’s alright David. I promise you. Everything’s alright now. There was an accident. A driver ran a red light. He…he hit you David. It was bad, real bad. But, you’re awake now. That’s what matters kid.”

Helping David sit up on the bed, Wasso continued “You’re awake and that means that everything is going to be okay. I know you’re confused. I promise I’ll try and explain everything to you but right now, I have to tell the doctor that you’re awake. We need to make sure that you’re fine. While, he’s doing that, I need to call your parents. They’ve been so worried. I’ve got to call Mark and Linder too. They’ve been here every day. Please babe, try to calm down. I’ve got to get the doctor.”

Wasso waited until he knew that David had calmed down a bit. “I’ll be right back. The nurses’ station is just down the hall.” Looking down at David on the bed, Wasso felt weak. He leaned down and touched his forehead to David’s.

Closing his eyes, Wasso said very quietly, “Oh god kid. I was so afraid I had lost you. Oh god David, I love you very much.” Wasso lifted his head and kissed David very gently. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get the doctor.”

Wasso started to leave the room but stopped at the door to look back at David. Taking a deep breath, Wasso smiled and walked out of the room towards the nurses’ station.

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